Episode 1 - Meshanda Philips

Meshanda Philips is a Humber College graduate from two programs. Meshanda graduated with a degree in Criminal Justice and an Ontario Postgraduate Certificate in Alternative Dispute Resolution. In the first episode of The Student Series, Meshanda shares her post-secondary experience after returning to her studies from a 10 year break. Her journey at Humber College allowed her to pursue and find her passion for advocacy and helping others, which led to her work as a Student Advocate for IGNITE. While being a single mother of two boys, Meshanda shares her journey navigating her post-secondary education.

Thank you everyone and stay tuned!

Transcript

Transcript

00:00:06 Speaker 1

Hi everyone. So welcome to my first ever podcast series called the Student Series. So I'll be talking about guest speakers on each episode about their journey navigating through Humber College and just.

00:00:20 Speaker 1

How they found it. So I just want everyone to welcome and join our first ever figure here, Mashonda Phillips.

00:00:30 Speaker 1

Hey mashonda.

00:00:31 Speaker 2

Hey, Karen, how are you? Thanks so much for.

00:00:33 Speaker 2

Having me how?

00:00:34 Speaker 1

Are you doing? I'm doing great.

00:00:35 Speaker 1

And how are you today? I'm good. So I'll let you introduce yourself for our listeners to learn a little bit about yourself and your background.

00:00:43 Speaker 2

Sure. So hi everyone. So my name is Mashonda Phillips. I go by mesh or beyond our comfort zone.

00:00:53 Speaker 2

But so my name is Michelle Nestle. I am a two time Humber. I'm glad. Currently right now I work as a student advocate at with Ignite advocating for our student here at Humber.

00:01:05 Speaker 1

Shonda around. She's usually always.

00:01:07 Speaker 1

Coming in and out of the Ignite office and she really loves tea. So if you want to get on her good side, bring her tea.

00:01:13 Speaker 1

I think you mentioned three programs that you were in at Humber. Do you want to mention?

00:01:19 Speaker 2

Them again. So sorry, but then I end up leaving that to go into a box of social science criminal justice.

00:01:27 Speaker 2

Others agree, and then after the alternate dispute resolution and post grad certificate.

00:01:32 Speaker 1

Perfect. So then how did he?

00:01:33 Speaker 1

Fine, doing all your programs at Humber College.

00:01:37 Speaker 2

I thought it to be very amazing. I mean, it's challenging, you know, especially for someone like myself who came into school as a mature student, I didn't feel like I fit in.

00:01:47 Speaker 2

I felt like a fish out of water. You know, there I was 28 when in classes with two as that were.

00:01:53 Speaker 2

1819 Freshman of high school, like our experiences, were different. Our lives were.

00:01:58 Speaker 2

Friend, our schedule was different. So I think for me it was finding that one professor that saw me, I think she saw that wasn't fitting in or I was.

00:02:07 Speaker 2

I was just looking like I didn't belong and she spoke to me, you know, reminding me that you were doing great.

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You were supposed to be, and I forget that. And she said you're right.

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You're supposed to.

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Be and for me that alter my.

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Experience here and I had a great time here because of that one.

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Coming and how did you find her?

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Because I know sometimes, especially now after COVID, it can be so weird when people reach out to you.

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Not everyone takes it in a positive way. So how did you feel when your professor came out, reached out to?

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You and asked.

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So if I'm being honest, I went to. I was having a really hard time that day. I got into something on my way here.

00:02:42 Speaker 2

I'm going to school with my ex-husband at the time Co parent and I just had a really bad day and I remember going to her to talk to.

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Her about something school related.

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And it kind of came up in conversation, you know. And then I remember she's saying, like, you know, she we had a conversation, but also something I was going through.

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And she was just like, you're getting great marks. You know, you're doing great. You're just supposed to be believing yourself. I think for me, I've been, I've been through in my.

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She was the first person in years that really allowed me to see myself. The way I see myself in years.

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You know, I saw I was so broken when I came here. I didn't feel like I fit in like I belong here.

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I just felt like I was just going through motions or just getting this degree just to get the degree, but because of her and her like support, I fit in.

00:03:27 Speaker 2

And she changed my life. I'll say she help me find myself again. You know, I think for me, it was. I remember. I just saw my. I was so.

00:03:37 Speaker 2

After my divorce, I end up working back at McDonald's, and I was going to school. I started collect to school for after there for a couple of years.

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I remember when my court at the time they were saying, are you just go to school for OSAP or you going to school because.

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You don't go.

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To school, those are really.

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Harsh comments, but I think for me it was.

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I also wanted to get my degree. Well, obviously life got into got into way. You know, I got mine and I was really young. I had kids and I had to put those dreams on hold.

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So I could so I could be a parent. You know, when my divorce ended at and figure out how to adopt and navigate as a single parent.

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So when I came back, I came back because I just want to get the degree, but I think somewhere along my early journey here I kind of forgot why. What was my reason for coming back? And I think she helped me to find.

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Reason and to also let me believe myself again and my dreams.

00:04:29 Speaker 1

And then how did you find with? Because I.

00:04:32 Speaker 1

Know work and.

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School for regular students who don't have any kids can be so challenging. Very overwhelming.

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How did you find out while having two kids being a being a parent, a single parent and navigating that journey while going to school while working while trying to raise their kids?

00:04:49 Speaker 1

How to help them with their homework, their assignments? How did he find navigating that? And how did he find that for you personally?

00:04:55 Speaker 1

Like your own well-being.

00:04:57 Speaker 2

So I would say my village. So my kids were in daycare, but still there's a conflict with my schedule and their daycare.

00:05:04 Speaker 2

I had a neighbor who saw me struggling and let's just be honest. I'm very transparent, so I'm at a time my kids died nearly 5 minutes.

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We did 5 minutes apart but there is not that much support. I was getting like you know assisting me with like scheduling.

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So my neighbors saw me that I was struggling and she's like, you know what, you have class at 8:00 AM at Lakeshore, which is like 2 hours away.

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From my house. And she's like, you could drop the kids at my house at 6:00 AM and get a class for 8:00 o'clock.

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And I would do that every day. Her daughter also for.

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Me to even.

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When I'm running late and never charge me.

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I tried to pay her. She was like, no, I'm not taking her money. Even I tried to buy her kids gifts so she would say no.

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And I had a friend also that I'm in my first year, so my.

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Friend friend, right?

00:05:44 Speaker 2

Now should actually like print my print my readings and also buy.

00:05:50 Speaker 2

Me tea and sell of tea.

00:05:51 Speaker 2

Also bring my tea on my desk and more into class. Yeah, when I come to class, they'll be my tea and my notes on the desk. If I miss the class, she would send me my.

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Notes and everything was there.

00:06:01 Speaker 1

I she had a.

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I think let's just schedule, yeah.

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Really good social group too. People who supported.

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You in your dream.

00:06:07 Speaker 2

You know? Yeah. And that's a good thing that you said because I feel like of all the stuff that I've been through my life, I think something along the line of all the bad stuff that happen.

00:06:17 Speaker 2

And the, you know, cause sometimes that's gonna beat you down. I don't know. By the grace of God, I've just found some amazing people that just that I call my village that I couldn't be where I am or achieve anything without their support.

00:06:31

And I think.

00:06:32 Speaker 1

Sometimes the social media awareness they show like.

00:06:34 Speaker 1

Oh, sometimes you just you're gonna do it alone. You're.

00:06:37 Speaker 1

Going to be alone.

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But that's not.

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Always true. There are people that want to.

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See, you win too.

00:06:42 Speaker 2

There are people and I think it's for you to find the right people because sometimes there are people that you know, they act like they want to be there for you.

00:06:51 Speaker 2

But those people only there for a season or to get you or next step or to teach you a lesson or to be a blueprint to going forward.

00:06:57 Speaker 2

Then you have friends or village like for me? You really just wanted to see me succeed. You know, after what I've been through in my life, they wanted to see better for.

00:07:06 Speaker 2

Me and better for my kids.

00:07:07 Speaker 1

And then how did you find, like an strategies or ways to relieve stress whenever you felt overwhelmed? Because I know probably as a mother as.

00:07:16 Speaker 1

Student or person who has a job, you know it's so hard to find just you time and just ways to relieve stress. So how did you find ways or opportunities throughout your day to do that?

00:07:36 Speaker 2

Positive quotes or affirmation everyday to start my day.

00:07:38 Speaker 1

That's true. She handed me couple. Yeah, and.

00:07:41 Speaker 2

I also journal. I have like 14 turtles. I have a lot of journals but for me there there are moments when I was going through stuff.

00:07:47 Speaker 2

And I you also embarrassed tell people that moment I have the maturity to to let people know, you know, because I felt so ashamed. So I turned to my journals and he became like my safety net.

00:07:58 Speaker 2

Try to like you know, whatever. I'm going. That's just right there. And for me, that was therapy for me.

00:08:02 Speaker 2

That was therapeutic. I'm not saying for me was just listening to my body because I think so often it's listen to her body because our body that was still strong.

00:08:09 Speaker 2

So you know, there are moments when I know that I'm overdoing it and take a mental health break. So doing my first program after probably a couple of years, I started realizing, you know, I started.

00:08:19 Speaker 2

A little burnout here and there, so I would start making like all my classifiers earning classes, so I'm done by one and by 1:00 until whatever till Saturday.

00:08:27 Speaker 2

I don't do anything school related, that's just my arrested. That's just my mental health. Break the focus on me to check in on me, to make sure I'm OK. So. So that's one the biggest thing for me was just like knowing my body.

00:08:37 Speaker 2

And drilling, you know it's it's it's therapy it you know.

00:08:41 Speaker 1

If you did for.

00:08:42 Speaker 1

You. Yeah. So did you find writing it down helped you verbally express yourself? Like, did you feel along the way you were able to speak? Your feelings speak your truth.

00:08:51 Speaker 2

So funny story, even though I could write it down like when I read.

00:08:55 Speaker 2

It back to myself.

00:08:56 Speaker 2

Yeah, it helped me kind of work through things.

00:08:59 Speaker 2

It help me kind of work through things like understand this or like I go back there reading the next day to see where I was in that moment, where my head was, you know, where my heart was in that moment.

00:09:08 Speaker 2

And I can go back and just checking to be like, do I still feel this way? You know, looking somewhere and like, do I still feel like this yesterday?

00:09:13 Speaker 2

Do I feel like this? But in terms of like, communicate with others, I didn't until I put myself into counseling.

00:09:21 Speaker 2

It's another story, but it was hard. I just sometimes the way you grow up and the things that you've seen are been through.

00:09:27 Speaker 2

Sometimes you have to suppress your emotions and things. I was in a state also suppressing certain things, so I would just write it out, but I would assure other people.

00:09:35 Speaker 2

This is like a lot of people know these things. Like other things I've been through, like life has always been easy to me.

00:09:40 Speaker 2

But you know, it's just like, or do I communicate that to people without people feeling sorry for me or pity because I never want to feel like they have to pity me or give me sympathy so.

00:09:49 Speaker 1

Sometimes you just want to let it out. You wanna bet? Yeah. So because I know, like I come from an Indian background, so I know sometimes expressing yourself frowned upon. Basically. So do you feel like with your background that kind of?

00:10:02 Speaker 1

Played into suppressing your emotions or.

00:10:04 Speaker 2

So I would say so. I actually came to. So I grew up with my mom back home, my dad here this so I grew up with my mom back home in Jamaica.

00:10:15 Speaker 2

12:30 yeah.

00:10:16 Speaker 2

I came to live with my with my when my dad, when I was 141314, we only saw each other on holidays or like you know, whatever.

00:10:24 Speaker 2

Is it Jamaica?

00:10:26 Speaker 2

So it was kind of hard for me to like, you know, have those conversations or like open up, I don't know.

00:10:32 Speaker 2

I think it's like, you know, it's in our culture, some things you don't really after the conversation like you don't have the sex talk, you don't have different, you know, certain things. You don't talk about. You kind of just like let it slide. It's. Yeah. It's like, you know, even if I was supposed to talk to an adult.

00:10:36 Speaker 1

Yeah, it's kind of culture.

00:10:38

You know.

00:10:42 Speaker 1

Bury it.

00:10:46 Speaker 2

Should be kind of looking in the straight in the eye. That's a disrespect this look down so.

00:10:50 Speaker 2

It's not always easy having those conversations with you have traditional parents, so yes.

00:10:54 Speaker 1

I know sometimes it's just, I think finding.

00:10:57 Speaker 1

The level of.

00:10:58 Speaker 1

Balance on what you can say sometimes, and I think what you mentioned for you therapy really helped and you trying to just find ways and journaling writing it down.

00:11:06 Speaker 1

So at least you could get your feelings out. This actually kind of relates to my next question. What I wanted to ask you is like, did you find any resources or tools on campus?

00:11:15 Speaker 1

You with your journey here navigating your school life because I know you've probably been involved in so many things, especially with your professor reaching out to mentoring you. What strategies or where resources that you found on campus that helped you become successful?

00:11:28 Speaker 2

Ohh so I would say.

00:11:29 Speaker 2

Sadly, I wish I'd taken more advantage of like the Wellness the.

00:11:34 Speaker 2

Yeah, but at the time, I was not like you. Can't, you know, go through those things sometimes you're not ready, but one of things you tell us a lot was a writing centre.

00:11:41 Speaker 2

Believe it or not, the writing centre was.

00:11:43 Speaker 2

My home away from home.

00:11:47 Speaker 2

Even else here in Austin, what's the best direction? Not like from like, that's a writing centre. So I think the manager Frank.

00:11:53 Speaker 2

Kills me. Really. Well, I've Sunday was like. Hi. It's like, that's a team again. I'm like what? I wrote a paper once and he was crying cuz he's like.

00:12:00 Speaker 2

So emotional. But yeah, the writing centre. So when I came back to school, I was away for 1012 years.

00:12:07 Speaker 2

10 to 12 years one of those range I'm getting old. I don't remember all the dates, but I I came back, you know.

00:12:14 Speaker 2

So I've been there for 22 years, but my Jamaican accent sometime comes out and sometimes when I talk it doesn't just.

00:12:20 Speaker 2

Same the other paper is like no. And also it's just like you know transitioning you know, right, the estimate essay flow also don't really hard time.

00:12:27 Speaker 2

And then someone told me with the writing centre and I started going there, you know, and they really helped me to kind of like the only right but really find my voice in the writing that makes makes sense. So I would say for me, the writing centre outside is statistics.

00:12:39 Speaker 2

I don't know why create statistics, but I did it and had to use the math Centre and 2nd pass at the Math Centre there.

00:12:46 Speaker 2

So say definitely Ambassador Reading Centre for me are one of the two biggest tools because into this day I still use one strategy I learned there, you know from the from the writing centre in my work right now, I'm not even in my sister's paper.

00:12:59 Speaker 2

I never thought I would see that happening, but I'm like miracles do happen. I can actually edit a paper is because I write it because I use it there and they were instrumental in my success.

00:13:08 Speaker 2

This was like, you know, going from a 70 on an essay to like a 9095. Exactly. So I'm like, so definitely riding central all the way shout.

00:13:11

Huge difference.

00:13:16 Speaker 1

Out. Yeah. You're like their number one mascot brand bathrooms.

00:13:19 Speaker 2

I'm sorry you managed to decide to do a promote to the promo.

00:13:23 Speaker 1

So how did he feel? Cause I know you mentioned a lot about, you know, your personal journey and how like you you started it was OK.

00:13:30 Speaker 1

But some days you were going through your own thing in your daily life and your professor reached out. How did you feel about the state of your mental health from the starting to the ending of your like degree Diploma certificate?

00:13:42 Speaker 2

So when I just saw here, I see my mental help.

00:13:44 Speaker 2

I think my mental health was wasn't that bad or I think he wasn't that bad. To be honest, I wasn't really checking in on my like fully so invested into my mental health.

00:13:53 Speaker 2

Yeah, I'll just have to, you know, to just like get this degree and just create a better life for my kids. And just to take it all in, I feel that my mental health, really.

00:14:04 Speaker 2

It was so I finished my degree in 2020. Obviously COVID, you know, the onset of COVID, I started having a really hard time.

00:14:11 Speaker 2

And and other health issues in that time as well. And I was going through a lot. And then once the doctors, just like I think you have anxiety, I got you sent me somewhere to specialist and I we got we checked it and I did end up having anxiety.

00:14:24 Speaker 2

I was someone, really. I was in like a really dark place. That time I remember I started my program in my new program in the fall 2021 and there's a week. There's just one.

00:14:32 Speaker 2

Week where I was on these pills, but still I just did.

00:14:35 Speaker 2

So, like myself or like a some function, I'm gonna e-mail all those professors for all those 5-6 classes to be like.

00:14:40 Speaker 2

I'm so sorry, but I have to be transparent, mentally available place this week. I cannot be in the class.

00:14:46 Speaker 2

I cannot be in this virtual. I cannot be there because I need to make sure I'm OK because in this moment, mentally I'm not OK, so there's this. Sometimes people say things.

00:14:55 Speaker 2

That you always remember moments. So there's this in my previous program at a professor once. It was just Jerry talking to us and it was having issue and he didn't.

00:15:04 Speaker 2

He did not come forward to say I was having issue. That's why the work is not done and the professor said to him, if you don't tell me.

00:15:10 Speaker 2

Tell us, or if you don't communicate with me, I don't know. You're in trouble. Like you can't. You can't be suffer in silence.

00:15:15 Speaker 2

Or can I help you in that moment it wasn't working, but it was like my mental health. And I I think I did what I I think I did most most for my kids.

00:15:24 Speaker 2

Not really for me, but in that moment, in that moment, I actually decided to put myself in therapy.

00:15:30 Speaker 2

Expensive, but you know.

00:15:33 Speaker 2

Putting myself through therapy, I was able to deal with a lot.

00:15:36 Speaker 2

Of you know, my mental health. You know, I also like when you go into therapy, you realize sometimes also something happened in your past that you didn't get over.

00:15:43 Speaker 2

It didn't get over. Also it was also like what are your mental health as well. So I had to put myself in therapy, you know, because I was relying on medications to to get through the day.

00:15:54 Speaker 2

So say for me that was the hardest time of my mental health. But I think in this moment.

00:15:57 Speaker 2

Right now I'm nine months free of taking pills. I guess I spoke with my doctor and decided to just.

00:16:02 Speaker 2

Like you know, for different ways to to, to deal with my with my anxiety, my mental health. So in this moment, right now, I'm in a good place.

00:16:10 Speaker 2

Mentally, I'm in a good place tomorrow. It might not be good because I think you have to understand what mental health it's OK to not be OK.

00:16:17 Speaker 2

All the time.

00:16:17 Speaker 2

Yeah, because no one is OK like, what is your mental health?

00:16:20 Speaker 2

Or you're going through. I don't care what you are.

00:16:22 Speaker 2

What? Who you are. Nobody's OK all the time. But it's for you to know that. And to also accept that. But also don't allow yourself.

00:16:29 Speaker 2

To give in to those moments, yeah.

00:16:31 Speaker 1

I think what?

00:16:31 Speaker 1

You mentioned was very key that you found something that was really useful for you. You went to therapy. You found out that going to the writing centre, you know, for you to write down your thoughts and everything.

00:16:43 Speaker 1

It didn't only help you academically through Humber, but it actually helped you in your personal life as well. Because I think sometimes we've just bottled up so many emotions.

00:16:51 Speaker 1

We bottle up so many things and we forget that sometimes everyone has to have an outlet to let it out. Whether a sport or in creative ways pain.

00:17:00 Speaker 1

Thing for you is journaling, and you find that something really soothing and calming that works for you. Go for it.

00:17:05 Speaker 1

Feel like everyone is different. Everyone really needs to find their hobby, I guess. And you know, and sometimes while you're at school, use the resources here like you did the writing centre.

00:17:15 Speaker 1

That was actually beneficial for you. I know there are so many things here that I mean my last semester.

00:17:20 Speaker 1

I found out some things in my last year where I'm like.

00:17:23 Speaker 1

Well, why didn't I know about this earlier? When I started? Then sometimes I just like, Oh well, I can use it now.

00:17:28 Speaker 1

And I think that's really key. One of the main thing you mentioned was journaling therapy, having a really having a really good village people to support you, you know, raise your kids.

00:17:37 Speaker 1

What is one key take away you would give to one of our listeners? Just one thing to learn from.

00:17:43 Speaker 1

What can they benefit from using at school that will?

00:17:46 Speaker 2

Help them a lot. I would say it all depends. I like what they're into. Like what program they're into. I would just say.

00:17:46 Speaker 2

Oh wow.

00:17:53 Speaker 2

For example, if you're a writing program, take a bunch of the writing centre. I would say get involved in campus, you know, get involved in campus, get involved in campus life, you know network meet people, enjoy the experience. But the biggest take away I think I would give is to let professors, don't you?

00:18:14 Speaker 2

Don't just be a seat filler. You know, let yourself be known. Introduce yourself to 1st year class. You know, don't just be here just to get the grey.

00:18:21 Speaker 2

Data but yet also experience and also professors know who you are and I can get to know them. Don't be afraid to introduce yourself.

00:18:29 Speaker 2

And I would say if you are a mature student like myself, I would say it's not always easy coming back.

00:18:34 Speaker 2

Yeah, especially when you are the oldest in the class, you can always be your parents. It's not always easy, but I would just say you're right. We're supposed to be.

00:18:42 Speaker 2

Knowing that it's not going to be easy, you know it's going to be hard. It's gonna be a lot of things to figure out, but you can do this.

00:18:48 Speaker 2

You just gotta find your reason why. You know, for me, my reason was like, you know, my kids was showing my kids.

00:18:53 Speaker 2

Like I had a dream, but life got into the way it got in the way. Sometimes dreams like you can dream so early and it could be 20 years after those dreams still come true.

00:19:02 Speaker 2

They don't die unless you let those dreams die. So I would say just just keep pointing to yourself and I would say also, just make sure for anyone practice like those mental health break.

00:19:13 Speaker 2

You know, chicken with your substance to your body.

00:19:16 Speaker 2

And also overall, just take advantage of all of these races here on campus and enjoy. Just enjoy experience here.

00:19:23 Speaker 1

Thank you so much mashonda for being my first guest on my first episode and we wish you a lot of positivity sending you positive vibes and if anyone you ever see mashonda walking around, say hi, she'll always say hi back.

00:19:36 Speaker 1

Thank you so much mashonda.

00:19:37 Speaker 2

Oh, thank you so much for helping.

00:19:39 Speaker 1

Me. This is great. Take care everyone.